


Enlighten me

by Karieauthoress (ksrandomme), ksrandomme



Series: Red Door [2]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-10
Updated: 2011-05-10
Packaged: 2017-10-19 05:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/197618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksrandomme/pseuds/Karieauthoress, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksrandomme/pseuds/ksrandomme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Part 2 of the Red Door Series</p>
    </blockquote>





	Enlighten me

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of the Red Door Series

First thing his mind wondered as he climbed out of his little green car was how long it would take for him to pack his things. He knew Jim was up there, he knew the man was most likely still coming to terms with what he had seen.

He knew his days in the loft were numbered now. He was not about to make Jim kick him out on his ass, he would do it himself. His week was more than officially up, his ride was done.

“Just shut up and get up there, damnit,” he muttered to himself as he began to run up the stairs. Reaching the third floor, he fumbled in his soaking wet jacket to find his keys - the keys - to the apartment.

The first thing he noticed was that most of the lights were out but the fireplace was on. He closed the door behind him and glanced around the room, finding Jim sitting on the sofa.

“You’re dripping, Chief,” came the soft words from his – hopefully still – friend and he stopped to stare down at himself. Jim looked over his shoulder and smiled faintly. “You’ve got nothing I haven’t seen before, Sandburg. Hurry up before you catch cold.”

Feeling the heat rush to his cheeks, Blair stripped at the front door and hurried, naked, to his room for dry sweats and a t-shirt. He came back quickly to pick up the sodden mess he had left behind him; taking the plastic bag he used to collect his things with him back to his room.

For a moment, he wasn’t sure what to do. Did he go out and try to explain? Did he start packing now and hope he could slip out without a fight? Reaching for his ‘Sandburg emergency’ pack he scrambled for his dry sneakers and was actually reaching for the fire escape door when he heard Jim’s voice ring out.

“Get in here, Sandburg. We need to talk.”

That settled *that* dilemma. With a deep breath that he let out as a sigh, Blair dropped the pack and went out into the living area. Jim waved him over and patted the sofa cushion next to him. “Want a beer?”

Blair blinked. “Are you sure we should be drinking when we talk?”

Jim shrugged, “Thought it might make you more comfortable when we get into this.”

Blair nodded once, went and grabbed two beers, and came to sit close to Jim, but not too close. Since Jim had arrived before Blair, he’d had time to change himself and get the fire going, which was a blessing as it knocked down the chill that was still lingering after being soaked outside ‘The Red Door’.

“Where do we start?” he asked. Jim looked over at him with one brow raised and sighed.

“Try starting at the beginning, Sandburg. Names and dates aren’t important, but a little bit of history would be appreciated.”

Blair swallowed a mouth full of beer, letting the cool liquid slide down his throat as he collected his thoughts. “I was maybe 19? Finals week... it was hellish to say the least. I was having trouble concentrating, nervous, antsy. No control.”

Jim blinked. “19? Finals? Shit, I don’t remember my first year of college being that hard, Sandburg.”

Blair blinked, his eyes widening as he stammered out, “First year? Jim, I started college at 16! This was my *third* year at Rainier. I was half way to my Masters, man. I was freaking out!”

Jim snapped his mouth shut, shock washing over his face. He closed his eyes for a moment, appearing to gather himself before waving a hand for Blair to continue. Blair sighed heavily.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I had just crawled out of a lover’s bed and I was already on the prowl for another when I ran into David... very good friend, couple of years older than me. He saw what was about to happen and dragged me off to his favorite club at the time—‘Sweet Dreams’.” Blair canted his head, waiting for Jim to comment. Jim nodded.

“Yeah, I remember the place, go on.”  
Blair nodded as well. “Yeah ok, so David and I were in the same psych classes together. He was majoring, I was just taking a class or two, and we did some studying together. He had told me about the whole leather lifestyle and the basis behind it. He had gone native actually, and found it was the best thing in the world for him. He introduced me to a couple of Masters.”

Jim was listening, not saying anything, just listening. Blair snorted and rolled his eyes, “David thought I was a Sub in the making. I needed stability, I needed looking after.”

“You didn’t?” Jim asked. Blair shook his head.

“No way, man. It wasn’t that I needed someone to control me – for me it was more that I needed responsibility to make my life mean something.” Blair leaned forward. “I needed to make a difference in someone else’s life. Which when I thought about it later made a weird sort of sense. I mean look at my mother.”

“I haven’t met your mother, Sandburg,” Jim replied. Blair snorted.

“And you probably never will. She’s worse than a butterfly flitting from flower to flower. No stability, no control... no purpose! And I was falling down into the same rut.” Blair took a sip of his beer.

Jim drank his own beer, watching Blair as they sat on the couch. Finally, he asked, “Why did you stop?”

The question startled Blair just a moment, his mind still on Naomi, until his thoughts caught up and he caught his breath. This was the one question he had been dreading but until this moment, he hadn’t known it. He turned away from Jim, staring at the fireplace and trying to breathe. “I found you.”

By the expression of disbelief that he saw on Jim’s face, he knew that he had lost the man. He sighed and tried again. “Jim, when you came to me I was doing fine. I was teaching, I was studying, I was working on a paper or three and I was balanced. And then things got complicated.”

He stood, unable to remain still as he explained. “Then I have you and the station. You called me your partner and I didn’t hesitate to take on the responsibility. I still don’t.”

Jim visibly relaxed and Blair paused, thought back over what he had just said, and carried on. Obviously that last statement had assuaged some concern in Jim’s mind and honestly Blair didn’t want to stop to figure it out. “But sometimes it’s not enough to just work with you. You make mistakes and I feel this irrational need to... to... fix things.”

Jim sat silently for a moment, then his eyes narrowed suddenly. “Fix *me* you mean.”

Blair shrugged as he stopped by the balcony windows and watched the rain fall. “Sure, yeah whatever. You screw yourself up over and over again and you always turn to me to fix it. But it’s becoming more and more difficult to do that without simply taking control of the situation completely.”

Jim was silent behind him and Blair wondered vaguely if he should get a room for the night. Maybe even the weekend. Hell, maybe even the year, decade, life...

“Are we talking about sex here, Chief?” Jim’s voice sounded sarcastic and Blair snorted gently.

“I don’t think that’s what you want, Jim,” Blair grinned from behind his thick curly hair. “I mean, you don’t exactly exude the vibes, you know?”

He looked up to watch Jim, who was watching him with a raised brow. Yeah, this was going to be a pissing contest between them. He decided that it was time for Jim to see who *could* be the boss here.

Taking three long steps, he grabbed Jim by his t-shirt, dragging him to his knees from the sofa and bringing Jim face to face with his cloth covered crotch. Jim moved to stop him, hands gripping his hips in a punishing grip. Blair leaned down and whispered in his ear, “Stop fighting me and just follow my lead.”

Jim instantly stopped with his hands still at Blair’s hips. Blair stroked one hand through Jim’s short hairs, his voice soothing. He used both hands to move Jim’s away from him and down. “Wrists crossed behind your back, Jim.”

Jim did as told and Blair smiled. Always the good little soldier. “Now, see. If you were really into this, you would be looking up at me and begging me to let you suck my cock.” Blair knew his words were unsettling for Jim, he could see the minute shivers in the larger man’s skin. “The only reason you haven’t tossed me on my ass right now is because you want to prove something to yourself. You *think* you want to prove it to me, but I’m not stupid, Jim. I *know* what you are.”

Jim mumbled against the cloth of Blair’s sweats, “What am I?”

Blair chuckled, “You are stubborn, special, beautiful and confused.”

Jim looked up at him, finally tearing his face away from his crotch and leaning back on his heels. “Confused about what?”

Blair laughed helplessly. "Oh man, what aren't you confused about lately?"

Jim scowled and fell out of position, pulling away from Blair in the process. Blair's face twisted knowingly.

"Scary isn't it? I know so much of how you are feeling, of what's going on in your head - I can predict how you are going to react in any given situation, well - to a point. That someone can do that, anticipate your needs and lead you by the nose with a simple crook of the finger, it scares the hell out of you and excites you all at the same time.” Blair sat on the couch, suddenly really tired of the conversation and pretty much ready to go to bed. There was no way they were going to get this all figured out in one night. It was impossible. “Jim even if you wanted the same thing I did, you don’t even know what that entails. It is so much more than sex, man. So much more than physical bodies.”

Jim stared back at Blair, watching, possibly assessing his words to find the truth. “So you’re telling me you don’t want me?” he asked. Blair shrugged, stretched and sighed before standing.

“I won’t lie to you, man. You have an instinctive need to follow command, you have a fierce loyalty, and you are sexy as hell. But if you aren’t into that then it’s not worth trying for.” He headed for his bedroom without a backward glance. The room he left remained silent.


End file.
